


Just One Yesterday..

by DebsterClintashaLove



Category: Dexter (TV)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Language, Season/Series 08, Sexual Content, Spoilers, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-28 14:19:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/992888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DebsterClintashaLove/pseuds/DebsterClintashaLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate take of the Dexter series finale..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heaven's Grief, Hell's Rain

**Author's Note:**

> If heaven's grief brings hell's rain, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...
> 
> Dexter's POV

"I would change everything if I could." 

But I can't, and I have to live with it everyday. I have to live knowing that I destroyed her. I regret everything. I regret not killing that bastard Saxon when I had the opportunity. I regret making her choose between me and Laguerta. I regret loving Hannah. I regret not accepting her love. I regret not letting her in all the times she tried. I regret not being there for her and being the brother I could've been. I didn't protect her like I was supposed to. I let everything fucking hurt her. I let myself be the cause of her death, the cause of her shitty life. It's my fault, and I can't take any of it back. The moment I pushed that button was the moment my whole existence shattered. I rode my boat out to sea, her lifeless body laid across the bench. Harry told me from the beginning, the storm's coming, but I never thought it would be this. The more I thought about Deb, the more I couldn't help but want to scream and cry and kill myself for causing her so much pain. I'm the reason she's dead. Me. The man who was supposed to be her guardian..was her downfall. I stopped the boat, not far from the incoming storm in the horizon. I walked back to her body under the white sheet, the clouds becoming darker as I got closer. I knelt down to her, pulling the sheet back to reveal her pale face. She was an angel. God finally got back his most beautiful angel. I cradled her face in my hands, stroking her cheek softly. I bit down on my lip, trying to fight the tears. I hurled my phone down to the floor of the boat, screaming bloody murder, the tears endlessly falling. My sobs grew louder as I took her in my arms, holding onto her. 

"What the fuck have I done?!" I cried louder into her neck. I pulled away to find her perfect face. "I was supposed to protect you. I failed you, Deb. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I would trade everything for just one yesterday."

I hugged her back tighter. I can't believe it took me losing her to realize how in love with her I was, to finally understand the way she felt. I took advantage of her. I broke her heart being with Hannah, because she wanted me like that. She wanted me to love her, and I didn't. I stepped all over her and kept hurting her. I just want to show her how much she means to me. I want to show her how much I love her...how much I'm in love with her. She's the only out there for me, and it took me never being able to see her again to realize it. I don't deserve any fucking happiness. I don't deserve her, but I want her back. I want her. I would do anything and everything to have her back, breathing, caring about me, loving me. I still clung to her like a lost child, cradling her head, stroking her back, running my fingers through her hair. I need her back. I need her in my life, because I'm nothing without her. I need her, because I love her. All she ever deserved was happiness and look at what I've done. This isn't happiness. This is hell. I pulled back to look at her one more time. I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. 

"I'm in love with you, Deb. I would do anything and everything to have you back." I whispered in a plea. I began to cry again, pressing kisses to her cheek, "Deb, please come back to me, please. I need you in my life. I love you. I love you. I love you. Baby, please come back to me. Please!"

I sobbed even louder, crying into her chest. Everything I touch turns to darkness, everyone I love, I destroy. I fell to the floor, pulling her into my arms with me. She was leaned against me, lifeless, as I kept my arms wrapped around her. I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't. I couldn't let her go when she was my everything. I leaned my head down next to hers, whispering in her ear, "I'm so sorry, baby. I love you, and I'll never forget you." I breathed deeply, trying to control the sobs. As I picked her body up in my arms, something happened. No...a miracle happened. This miracle was a 1 in never chancr...but it happened, and I couldn't think. The whole world and everything around me was blocked out in that instant, and all I was focused on was this. All I could think was that God had to be real, and he was on my side, giving me a second chance...a chance to make everything right. Make everything exactly the way it's supposed to be...


	2. I'd Trade All My Tomorrows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debra's POV

"I'm so sorry, baby. I love you, and I'll never forget you."

It had to be a fucking dream, because I felt like I was...I was fucking waking up. I felt myself come alive, but I died. I suffered in surgery, I don't remember a thing after, but I know I fucking died, and now...I was back. I could fell myself being held, the heat of hands beneath me, because I was freezing my ass off. My eyes slowly fluttered opened until I saw the pitch black clouds, highlighting his face. His red-stricken eyes grew wide with tears and amazement. 

"D-D-Deb..oh my god." 

He set me down on the bench, sitting up right, but he had to support me, kneeling down in front of me. 

"D-Dex...? The fu.." I couldn't finish. I felt so damn weak, but I was alive. I was breathing. A fucking God must exist, because I was supposed to die. He was right there with me. He didn't leave me in that shithole, he is with me. This wasn't real. I sure as shit wasn't awake.

"Deb, you're okay. You're alive, you're...Deb." he stuttered up, lifting a hand to stroke my cheek and it all hit me. The warmth of his touch being that reminder of my life, and I'm here. I felt the tears hit and gripped onto his shoulders. 

"Dex." I cried out, lunging into his embrace. He held me with that same desire. "Oh my god, Dexter!" 

"Deb, you're still here, oh my god! I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'll never hurt you again, I just...oh Deb! I thought I fucking lost you.."

"Me too shitface. I missed you so much." I replied back still sobbing. I pulled back to look him in the eyes, his hand moved to caress my cheek. I placed mine over his, our tears still dripping down off outer chins. "You stayed with me? Even when you knew I died?"

"Deb, I'm never going to let you go. I can't believe it took me losing you to realize that I'm in love with you and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry I put you through hell, but...I love you. I'm in love with you. I thought I was never going to get to tell you that, but, god I love you so damn much." he replied, keeping his hand on my cheek, his hand on my waist. I let my tears continue to stream. I was happy, relieved, scared, upset, excited, every emotion running through my mind. I just knew I was grateful to have him and have him the way I always wanted. I get a second chance with him. "Deb, I love you, I love you. If you still even want me like this, I want, no...need to show you how sorry I am, how in love with you I am and always have been. You're the one for me and always were...you're mine. You didn't belong with Briggs,because you belonged with me. I'm so fucking sorry about everything I've done. I don't deserve you, and you deserve so much be-"

I pressed my lips to his, shutting him the hell up and drinking in his taste and the salt of our tears. We were a deadly combination. A bad mix..but so perfect for each other and no one else. We had our faults. We've hurt each other in more ways than one, but that hasn't changed these urges and feelings for him. I still wanted him just as bad as I did so long ago. I felt him kissing back with that same passion and it only made me want to be with him more. I pulled him up, locking my arms around his neck, and I felt his hands cradle my waist. 

"I love you, I love you, I fucking love you." I murmured between each breath we took between the kiss. He picked me up in his arms, touching as much of me as he could, and I threw my legs around him to hold his waist. I wanted ever bit of contact with him. I pushed my forehead against his, looking into his eyes, my hand raising to stroke his cheek. 

"I love you Debra Morgan."

I smiled at him, but I heard the storm upon us then. 

"Where do we go from here?" 

He gently sat me on the bench near the wheel, hands resting on my thighs. 

"We disappear." he whispered, lips pressing firmly against mine. He turned back, starting the Slice of Life for its last voyage. I stood, moving in front of him, my back to his front. He pulled me right against him, head on my shoulder, arms wrapping around to the center of my belly. His lips crept upon my neck, holding me there with him. He took control of the wheel, and my hands followed his, holding onto his wrist, as we rode out the storm together. It was always us. This is the way everything is supposed to be. I wasn't letting him go ever again. I didn't know where the hell we were going, but as long as I was with him, I'd be safe and sound.


	3. If I Spill My Guts, The World Would Never Look At You The Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debra's POV

Two years later, Dexter and Debra Morgan were dead to the world. They'd always be remembered but as far as being here, they never would be again. Rio de Janeiro was beautiful, and Valerie and Marcus Henderson were alive and well though. Valerie had long fucking blonde hair and brunette highlights, and Marcus walked around with dark reddish brown hair, growing out a damn beard. We would never be Dexter and Debra Morgan again to anyone, maybe even ourselves included. We changed so fucking much from those dark times. When he picked up a knife, it was to cut up vegetables instead of bodies, and when he was out late, it was at a beach party, me joining, not 'taking out the trash'. He changed for me, so I could have a happy life with him. We had a small, beautiful home on the beach like my one in Miami. We got a lot of use from the balcony are, sitting out at night together, his arms embracing me warmly. This life sure as shit was not Debra Morgan. I was happy. My life wasn't taking a right into shittropolis like it had always done. I was alive, content, and happy. Believe it or not, he became a fucking famous author under Marcus Henderson. He's only written two books since, and now, I'm sure we're set for life. Our life made for one interesting as fuck story. I sat out on the balcony, a light breeze blowing over, the cool air sweeping off the water through my hair. This was something I never thought I would have, but I'm not that Deb anymore. I'm completely different. Everything we've gone through has made me a stronger person, physically and emotionally. More importantly, Dex changed. He's become...more human. He can feel like he never has before and love me the way I him. He understands, because he's let the Dark Passenger go. He did it all to be with me. That said more to me than anything ever could. I felt hands creep upon mine, resting their. I opened my eyes to find him kneeling in front of me, smile across his face. I smiled back, looking down at the ring on my left hand and his. I adjusted my hands to wrap my fingers with his, pulling them into my lap.

"Hey baby." he said, leaning up to softly kiss me. I kissed back, my fingers loosening from his hold to wrap my arms around his neck. His hands rested on my bare thighs, his fingers splayed around them. I chuckled against his lips at the feel of his beard on my chin. I'd never gotten used to that damn feeling. It was so different. "What?"

"I will never get used to that fuckin' beard, lumberjack." I pulled away, laughing. I moved a hand up to stroke my thumb across his jaw, tracing his beard. He laughed back, hands lifting me from the seat to sit himself, holding me in his lap. I pressed my back against his front, and my blue jean short clad legs laid on his in alignment, as his arms wrapped around me, hands coming together at my navy blue, tank-top-covered belly. 

"You know you love it." he joked, and I turned my head to capture his lips with mine again. I kept one hand over his hands on my belly, and the other rose up to caress his cheek. 

"Yeah. You'd be one sexy ass lumberjack." 

"Just like you're such a sexy ass blonde." he smirked back at me. I mimicked him, slapping his muscular arm.

"Fucker." I replied, leaning my head into his neck. I felt his lips touch my forehead chastely, whispering a simple 'I love you', which was all I needed to be happy for the rest of my life. It was everything I longed for...just him. 

"Thank you so much, babe." I mumbled near his neck, as I began to pull away to see his face.

"For what?"

"Everything. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you... "

"You're right. You'd be happier, and your life wouldn't have been the hellhole I made it." he replied disappointed, shutting his eyes in upset. I looked back at him, disgusted. The fact that he still thinks he's fucking bad for me pisses me off. He is my everything, and he still doesn't see that.

"Dex, look at me. Look at me right now, fucker." I said, still caressing his cheek. I turned my body so I could face him, pulling my legs up into his lap. He cradled my thighs in his hands, looking back at me, horrified with himself. "I would be dead. I wouldn't fucking be here. I would be miserable as hell. I need you to understand how much I love you and how happy I am. I AM happy. YOU make me happy. Quit thinking you're the reason for all the shitty things that happened to me, because YOU are not. You're the person who was always there to pick me back up. You were always my fucking cure. You made me who I am, and you better never forget that jackass. Stop acting like this before I kick your ass, because Dex, I sure as shit will.. I fucking love you, and you better never forget it." He smiled back in response, kissing me passionately. 

"I love you, Deb." he replied, intertwining his fingers with mine. I breathed out a light 'I love you, too', as I snuggled back into him, his embrace on me keeping me warm, my eyes shutting with night falling upon us. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I don't know how much POV switching I'll be doing from here on out if I wrote more chapters, so bare with me.. (:


	4. I Thought Of Angels Choking On Their Halos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debra's POV

I woke up, feeling like complete shit. It was 4 fuckin' am, and I was puking my guts out. Dex was too good to me, sitting by my side in the bathroom, holding my hair back, dealing with the sickness together. I pulled back from the toilet, leaning against the tub. I looked over at Dexter, comfortably rubbing my shoulder. 

"I'm making your life a living hell right now." I mumbled, my head landing on his shoulder. He extended his arm around to my other shoulder.

"No.. I love dealing with vomit at 4:30 in the morning." he replied sarcastically.

"Asshole." I said, too weak to try to punch him for that. He'd pay for that remark later when all my strength hadn't been drained into the fuckin' toilet. "You don't have to stay in here. I'm fine."

"Stop. I want to be with you." he responded, sweetly. I half smiled at him, and he adjusted so I was sitting between his legs, and his arms were completely wrapped around to my belly, holding me close to him. I laid my head back on his shoulder, sighing, as he pressed a kiss to my temple. "Do you have any idea what's wrong?"

"I don't think I'd keep it from you if I knew for my fucking self." 

"Well...you do know what morning sickness typically means, and you haven't been as thin as you were."

"Firstly, fuck you, because I'm not pregnant...and lastly, fuck you." I replied with a smirk and sarcasm, looking up at him. He stared back at me seriously. 

"Deb...you know it's possi-"

"I don't even want to think about that fucking possibility, Dex!"

"But you know it's possible." I sighed, looking down in upset. I turned to where I could face him.

"Dex...I've been on pills and just... The last thing we need is a baby running around the damn house."

"You mean a motherfucking, rolly polly, chubby-cheeked shit machine?" he joked back, with a smile. I couldn't help but grin back.

"I just...I couldn't be a mother. Can you even imagine? That kid would have one fucked up life." 

"You were great with Harrison.."

"Yeah, because I was just his fucking aunt. How the hell am I supposed to keep a kid in control when I can't keep my shit together for more than 5 minutes?" 

"Deb, you're so much stronger than you were before. You could do this. You wouldn't be alone...I'm here. You've got me. I'll help get you through anything and everything, and you know that. I'm never leaving or taking you for gradient again. I saw what happened when I did, and I'm never going to fucking put you through that again." he told me sincerely, as he took hold of my hand with his. I leaned in closer to him, raising my hand to rest against his cheek, forehead touching his.

"I'm so fucking happy I have y-" I hurriedly leaned my head back over the toilet to throw up violently once again. Dex reacted quick enough to keep my hair held back, thankfully. I sighed in annoyance, and yelled, "Fuck!" 

"Yeah, I live for these moments." he laughed in response, and I kicked my foot up into his stomach, hearing a slight groan. 

"Fucking asshole." He chuckled, leaning in to press his lips to my cheek. 

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hopefully Dexter's POV will come in one of the next chapters! I think I'm definitely going to keep this going! :)


	5. I Want To Teach You A Lesson In The Worst Kind Of Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm is coming...better get inside...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debra's POV

"Motherfuck." I whispered as I held the test in my shaky hand. I had to hold onto the counter to keep myself from falling on my face. This was happening. It wasn't supposed to fucking happen but it is, and I'm scared shitless. I walked out, still not ready to face this, because it felt like a fucking dream. Dex stood up quickly when I walked out, but he became concerned when he saw my pained expression. "Five fucking positive tests."

He walked toward me, grabbing hold of my hand.

"Deb.."

"I need to know for sure. I don't want your hopes up only to be crushed. This isn't anything I want, but I know you do. I'll do it for you."

"Deb, I don't want you to do this if you don't wan-" I pressed my lips to his in a plea to shut him up. I pulled back slightly, looking back into his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up. What I want, is to make you happy. You already do that for me. Let me do that for you."

"So, hospital?" he smiled.

"Hospital." I smiled back at him. He grabbed the keys off the counter, and we jumped in the car, driving off. He kept his hand over mine the entire ride, as I stared out the window. What the fuck was I supposed to do if those tests were true. I don't know what to do with a kid. Not even with Dexter's help. I'll probably screw the kid's life up, I mean, look at Harrison. I don't want that for this one, and who knows when I'll drop dead....or get murdered like Rita. I know I woke up, but I don't know what effect that's all made on my body. We arrived at the hospital and sat it out in the waiting room. When they called my name, I felt my stomach drop, and when we got up, I'm pretty fucking sure I left it behind. I just didn't want this to be real. I wanted the whole thing to be a damn dream.

"So, this is a Mrs. Valerie Henderson?" the doctor cheerfully called out when he entered.

"That's me." I replied.

"Well then, what brings you both in?" I tried to speak, but I couldn't hear the words come out. I haven't been like this in fuck knows how long.

"We just...I was...we...shit, sorry. I can't talk."

"Pregnancy check?" he said, taking the words from my mouth.

"Yes. How the fuck did you know?" I blurted out again, and I saw Dexter eyeballing me because of my swearing. I looked back at him nervously, shrugging my shoulders. "Sorry, cop mouth."

"Not a problem. Women come in nervous as you all the time for the same reason. Let's have a check, shall we." he said, squeezing this clear, blue shit from a tube to rub along my belly as I laid back. "We'll just take a quick ultrasound."

I kept a tight hold on Dex's hand, feeling if I let go, my whole world would shatter.

"So, how far along is she?" Dexter asked the doctor.  
   
"Are you the father?" he asked back.

"Yes."

"Well, I'd say she's about ten weeks along."

"Ten fucking weeks?! How the hell did we not know until now? Sorry.." I yelled, then apologized for my outburst. The doctor just smiled back.

"Some people don't realize until their actually in labor. It's different for many people, but not unlikely. You seem very athletic, meaning you have a very inconstant menstrual cycle. That's when it's harder to know, because you don't think anything different of it. Congratulations." he said, wiping the gunk from my belly. I pulled my shirt down, sitting up on the chair, Dexter's hand still in mine. "I just need you to fill out some things for the hospital's records for your visits. Your last hospital visit?"

"Two years ago."

"Any surgical history?"

"Yes..." I replied nervously.

"For?"

"I was, um, shot in my side about four years ago. That was just some minor stitching, then I was shot about two years later, same side, but the bullet went in and bounced around, hitting some vital organs. I had surgery to remove it, but it, um..." I didn't want to continue, because all it brought back was horrible memories. I bit back on my lip, nervously and continued. "...a blood clot formed during surgery, and I had a stroke. The doctors told him I would never be the same again. I'd be on a ventilator the rest of my life, feeding tube, wouldn't even be able to comprehend anyone was around."

"But how, how are you not living off that?" the doctor asked, wowed.

"She, um, and I both agreed if something like this ever happened, we'd tell the doctor to let us go. I took her off the machine, and...." Dex paused, and I could immediately see the tears build up in his eyes. I squeezed his hand for reassurance, and he continued. "she flatlined after she was cut off the machine keeping her alive, then, it was a miracle she's even here right now. She woke up."

"How long after did she wake?"

"It was a good fifteen to twenty minutes after."

"Wow. I mean, i've seen the heart jumpstart after a few seconds, minutes, but never near half an hour later. That's..you've really got God on your side you two."

"Fucking tell me about it..." I responded softly.

"Did the doctors ever tell you how this happened?"

"No, we never went back to find why.." Dex replied. The doctor looked at us in concern and worry.

"I have a concern then, and I don't want to say this, but...you could experience some trouble with carrying this child full term."

"Wait...why?" Dex asked anxiously. I just sat there, blank. The fact that I wouldn't be able to carry a child, his child, our child, I didn't know what the fuck to think. I didn't want this to happen, not right now. I don't want another shitty thing to go on in my life. I'm far past that point now.

"I'm not saying it's for sure, I mean, if it's been two years, and there's been no problem, you will be perfectly fine, but, just be prepared." 

But were we really prepared and ready for this storm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. A storm is coming.... See what I did there? Next is Dexter's POV!


	6. I Still Did It For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dexter's POV

It's been weeks since the hospital visit, and Deb is doing well. She's taking it all very well, better than I would've expected. She actually seems happy about being a mother...sometimes. There's times when she's screaming at me, asking what the fuck have I done to her, because she can't drink beer to relieve the stress anymore. Sometimes I wonder myself what I've done to her. Then, there's times when she just wants nothing more than for me to fuck her senseless. That I never really had a problem with, but we couldn't, because I didn't want to hurt this child. There's also the times when she's an emotional wreck, wondering how she'll ever be able to do this, but then not even five seconds later, she just wants more food. Then she complains about how fat she looks, but then she eats more. She has become much more feminine with this child growing inside her. Occasionally, she gets pissed, because after she eats, she wants to run and I don't let her. That's when the screaming and yelling and swearing more than usual starts again. I have to think I will not kill my wife, I will not kill my wife, I will not kill my wife. The whole Deb being my wife isn't as different as I thought it would be. It feels like that's how it should've been all this time. I just want to hide from her sometimes, because she's become more violent as well. Rita was never this hormonally bad...or scary. Today, she's very hungry and angry.

"I mean, what in the literal fuck am I supposed to do with a baby?" she said, while munching on Cheeze-Its. She was laid back against my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her, meeting at her belly, which hadn't grown much since the last visit. "I'm not motherly fucking material."

"Deb, you're going to be a great mother. You just haven't done it before, so it'll be new."

"Well no fucking shit, Sherlock." she replied sarcastically, stuffing her face with more crackers. If you asked me five years ago if I saw myself hugging Deb close to me, listening to her angry rants while eating crackers, I would've said no way in hell. Now look at us. "But I'm sure as shit not going to be a good mother... I want sugar."

She tried to get up, but paused in place. The box of crackers hit the floor, and she was gripping onto her black t-shirt, just below her stomach, groaning in pain.

"Ow, fuck." she moaned out.

I got up, walking in front of her to help her up.

"What? Deb, what is it? Oh god."

My question was answered once I saw the blood pooled under her sweatpants clad legs, dripping off the chair. She screamed out in pain now, her moans becoming increasingly louder. I didn't know what was going on, but I was scared to find out.

"Dex, oww, fuck!" she screamed out, collapsing to the floor.

"Deb!" I yelled, and I quickly scooped her up in my arms, rushing her out to the car. All I wanted right now was to get her help. I got in the car, driving as fast as I could to the hospital. My adrenaline was pumping, and I had never been so scared in my life. She was helpless in the backseat until I got her to the hospital, and I felt useless. I could hear her screams and moans becoming louder. I couldn't speak, my hands were shaky on the wheel, and I felt my stomach and heart drop in that instant. The doctor had already warned us of this, but I was more scared that it was Deb's body failing herself. I was running her into the hospital, yelling for help. I ran alongside her as the doctors hurried her into the emergency room. I held her hand in mine, comforting her with my voice, trying to make sure I was strong for her. That's what she needed right now.

"I'm sor, so, sorry." she whimpered out.

"You're fine, it'll be okay. I promise."

"I, I'm sorr-" she whispered out, until her eyes fell heavy, and I felt the tears fall down my cheeks. My heart shattered in that moment. Once she was in the room, I had to be dragged out, as I was screaming to stay. I didn't want to leave her. I promised her I'd never leave her again, that I'd protect her from this day on. I'm failing her. I sat outside her room, my hands covering my red-stricken eyes and wet cheeks. It had been five hours since I brought her in and still no word. I tapped my foot away, nervously, trying to prevent anymore tears. I heard footsteps from the room Deb was in and looked up to find the doctor that brought her in.

"What happened?! Is she okay?!" I asked him in concern.

"You're Mr. Henderson?"

"Yes, I'm Mr. Henderson, now could you please tell me what the hell is wrong with my wife?!" I yelled angrily.

"Sir please." I took in a deep breath to calm myself, and he looked up at me upset. "Sir, I'm sorry."

My heart stopped, my knees became weak, and I couldn't stop shaking.

"Your wife, she's alright, but...there was a miscarriage. She's unable to carry the baby to full term. I'm so sorry." I had to sit to keep myself from falling. I was relieved it wasn't Deb, but our child wasn't any better. How can you love someone so much that you've never even known? That was our child. A piece of both of us, something that resembled our love for each other, and now, it was gone. She just got back from her horrible life I caused, and now here I go again, fucking it up some more. She was never going to be happy if I was around. The doctor placed a hand on my shoulder. "You can see her now if you'd like. She really wants to see you."

I slowly rose, then rushed in to see her. I shut the door behind me, then turned back to see her. I saw her belly had flattened to its original state. It's like she hadn't ever been pregnant. It was gone just like that, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her face. An angel destroyed by my hand. She sat up, her eyes red and wet, tears falling off her chin. I walked over to her, standing right by the bed, keeping my eyes locked with hers.

"I'm so fucking sorry." she said quietly, sobbing uncontrollably. I took her in my arms, wrapping them around her frail body. She tightly wrapped hers around me, sobbing into my neck. I stroked the back of her head with my hand, trying to shush and calm her, but nothing I could do would help. She was permanently destroyed by me. It was all my fault. Everything was my fault. I wasn't the solution, I was still the problem. She cried out, screaming into my neck now. "I'm so fucking sorry!"

"Shhh, baby, shhh. I'm here, I'm here. You're safe now." I lied. I knew it was a lie, no matter how convinced she was that I was her safe place. It was always a lie and always would be. I was never a happy place. I was a walking hell. I sat down next to her. She laid her head on my chest, just under my chin, keeping her arms around my torso. I buried my face into her hair, pressing a kiss to her head, embracing my arms warmly around her.

"I can't do anything right. I fuck everything up." I heard her faint whisper. I brought my hand up to caress her cheek, making her look up at me. I pressed my lips to hers, softly.

"Don't you dare say that. You are everything right. You are everything good about me. It is not your fault this happened...it's mine. And for that, I am so, so sorry.." I whispered, tears in my eyes. She leaned her head back against my chest, pulling herself closer to me, closing her eyes to the world.

"You're not fucked up, Dex. You're here with me. I love you." she said faintly. I felt the warmth of her tears through my shirt, making me have to fight back my own. I had to stay strong for her, but I don't think I could if I didn't have her to fight for. When are we ever going to get a happy fucking ending? It's like when she said she was sorry earlier, she knew it was the baby. She knew that something was wrong, and that was it. I felt my eyes grow heavy, and I fell asleep, hoping that this was all some fucked up dream...but I knew it wasn't. No matter how hard I tried, this would never be a dream. The upset, the tears, the feelings, the heartbreak. I just wanted it all to stop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, they're never going have this completely happy ending so...


	7. Only Say My Name, It Will Be Held Against You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debra's POV

Four fucking days of being in that miserable ass hospital finally passed, but I still felt like a fucking disaster. He sat with me through each day, kept me close by his side, held me against him, but no matter what he did to comfort, it didn't help. This had affected me so much more than I could've even imagined. I didn't even want the thing at first, but now, I feel so empty without it. Something me and Dex had, together, was fucking destroyed..because of me. What the hell was I any good for? I can't fucking make him happy. We stood in silence as he filled out the release paperwork. We began to walk out the hospital, keeping a distance between us two. Even in the car, it was dead silent. He tried to reach over to rest his hand over mine, but as soon as I felt his skin touch mine, I pulled my hand into my lap. I knew he was hurt by that notion, but why the fuck does he care about me anymore? I can't do jackshit right. I'd always be a mess, completely broken. There was absolutely no fix. It wasn't me who deserved better, it was him. I was not by any fucking means good enough for him. I had to face the fact that I never would be. No matter how much I want him, I have to let him go, to go find someone else who can make him happy, give him anything he wants. I can't even give him a fucking child. When we arrived at the house, I jumped out, walking up, not saying a word. He quickly followed my lead. Once in, I began making my way to sit on the couch, bringing my knees to my chest. It's like it wasn't ever fucking there. I felt the tears build in my eyes, and I closed them shut in an attempt to keep any from falling. Dexter was right behind, shutting the door slowly. He walked over toward me, and a mix of anger and concern spread across his face.

"Deb, you've got to stop. You've got to talk to me, tell me what's going on in your head." he finally said, kneeling down in front of me, hands grabbing hold of mine. I stared at him in silence, looking down at my knees. "Deb, please. I want to help you. I want you to be okay. I know this is hard, I know. It's hard for me too, but you can't keep your fucking feelings bottled up. Baby, please."

"Says the man who never fucking let me in his entire life.." I whispered softly, looking back up at him.

"But I don't want you to be this way. Please."

"You can't fucking fix anything, Dexter! What happened, happened! It's done and over with, and you can't do shit about it!" I yelled in his face, and I felt so fucking guilty after. His expression of pain absolutely broke me down. I hated hurting him like that. I just get so pissed with myself, that I take it out on him. He sighed, upset, holding my hands tighter, holding back the tears. "Dex, I just.."

I couldn't continue without the tears beginning to fall, as I let my knees go, holding back onto his hands. He looked back up at me, tears falling down his face.  
"I just want our child back." he choked out, breaking down in my lap. I cradled the back of his head with my hands, running my fingers through his short curly hair.

"I know, I know.....I want it back." I whispered softly, my voice cracking, unable to control the sobs. "It's my fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm fuckin' sorry, Dex.."

He looked back up at me, lifting a hand to caress my cheek.

"It IS not your faul-"

"Yes it fucking is! I AM the problem! I always have been! I couldn't keep this child! My fucking body is the reason for this heartbreak! It is my fucking fault!" I screamed at him, tears still rushing down my cheeks, jumping up from the couch. He followed me up, taking a few steps back, as I walked away. "You will never be happy with me, because I'm broken! Broken beyond damn repair! I've always been what's wrong, I've always been the cause of someone else's pain if not my own! I have NO fucking purpose! You should've let me die and never looked back! I'm not worth it!"

He just stared back at me, beginning to walk over to me slowly.

"You think you're useless? Not worth anything? You wanted me to kill you?" he said, almost evilly, yet angrily, as he walked. I backed up as he got closer until I was stuck between him and a wall. I could feel his hot breath against my skin, sending goosebumps all along my body. It sent so many little shivers throughout my body, but at the same time, it was such a fucking turn-on. I jumped a bit when he slammed his hands against my wrists, pulling them above my head.

"You think you have no purpose?" he whispered and then crushed his lips against mine. I was froze for a moment, but then, I helplessly gave in to him, letting my wrists fall limp in his grip. He let go of my wrists, using them to follow the curve of my body down, until he reached my hips, pulling them to his then wrapped them around my frail body. I let my hands fall to wrap around the base of his neck, the other curling into his hair, deepening the kiss. We didn't say a word, just sat there, ravaging each other's mouths. I felt his hands lower, grabbing at my legs, pulling them up, and I wrapped them around his waist. He hurried us into the bedroom, falling to the bed with me. I kept my legs locked around his waist, as he began kissing down my neck, lingering there. He drew out small moans of pleasure with every touch of his soft lips. He pulled back, ripping the navy sweats and black t-shirt away from my body, leaving me in a black sports bra and black boy short underwear. I clawed his red t-shirt off his body, revealing his sculpted torso, then worked his jeans off his legs, along with his boxers. He quickly stripped the bra and underwear off my body, throwing them off to the side, his lips landing back on mine. I felt him then fill the empty void, with groan.

"Dex...fuck, Dex.." I cried out his name against his lips, as he moved slowly in and out of me, making the pleasure last. His hands slid down my body, pulling my legs up around his waist to hit just the right spot. "Oooh, jesus fuck, Dex.."

I kept my legs tight around his waist, and my arms wrapped around his body, pulling his heaving chest against mine. I used that weight to flip us, as I took control. I kept my eyes on him, and he held onto my hips, helping guide my movements.

"God, Deb..mmm so good.." he groaned out, and I realized I craved hearing my name on his lips. I moved my hips to accommodate us both, making it so much more pleasurable. I threw my head back with a moan, hands resting on his chest. Our gasps had now filled the air of the empty house, as I began to grind down on him harder and faster. He began pulling himself up, while I kept moving, to wrap his arms around my back. I wrapped my arms under his, around to his back, kissing him full on the mouth, catching his lower lip in my moans.

"Deb...ooh mmm god, I love you.."

"I..love yo, fuuckk.." I couldn't finish when his lips caught my neck, licking, nibbling, biting, and kissing. I caressed the back of his head there, fingers gripping into his hair with each movement of his mouth. "oooohh goodd, I love you, Dex.." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, tragic, yet happy.. (: Next chapter is a happy, fluff moment for them, I promise!


	8. I'm Here To Give You All My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dexter's POV

The bright sun shone through the window, forcing my eyes to open. I looked over at the clock, reading 8:30. I looked back down at Deb, pushing her hair behind her ear, and her body was splayed across mine, completely bare, arms wrapped around me. She looked so innocent and sweet. You wouldn't be able to look at her and think she's led a dysfunctional life, killed two people and fell in love with her brother. She wasn't perfect, she was perfectly flawed...and that is exactly how I wanted her. It's what made her who she is and made her everything I loved. I love who she is as a person, and I didn't want her to ever change. I saw her eyes slowly flutter open, looking up at me with a smile. She lifted her head, moving up until she was face to face with me, slinging her leg over my side, and she pressed her lips against mine. I kept my arms warmly wrapped around her, meeting at her lower back.

"Good morning, beautiful." I said against her lips, and I received that sweet smile that I'd do anything for.

"Morning baby." she replied, her voice raspy.

"Your voice is so sexy in the morning, did you know that..?"

"The fuck, Dex?" she laughed, kissing me again, while bringing a hand up to hold my cheek.

"Deb...you really have no clue how much you mean to me, do you?" She sighed sadly, sitting up on the bed, crossing her legs and covering herself with the sheet. I sat up, facing her, intertwining my fingers with hers. "You don't have to do that. You're beautiful, babe."

"Dex, I can't make you happy. I can't even keep a fuckin' child.." she looked down, a tear falling off her cheek.

"Hey, listen right here..." I told her, lifting her chin up so I could see her angelic face, "YOU make me so damn happy. You're the reason I want to live. I want to live to see you every day, make you happy and love you. I want to make sure you know how goddamn perfect you are. All those assholes in the past never saw how special you are, and it fucking kills me every time I think about how they hurt you, and how I've ignored you. I'm sorry for that, but I need to show you how important you are to me, and how I can't live without you by my side." I saw the smile form across her face, and she lunged herself at me, wrapping her arms around me in an embrace. I wrapped mine around her, kissing the side of her head.

"I love you, Dex..." she mumbled into my neck. I pulled her closer, and she settled in my lap, pulling her head back to look at me and resting her hands on my shoulders. She kept her body pressed against my chest. "..but I'm not any fucking good for you."

"You are, Deb. You are, and you have no idea how pissed I get when you think that about yourself. Stop, please. You are more than I deserve, but I have you, and I'm so grateful." "Dex, I just.."

"Say it again, and I'll kick your fuckin' ass." I with a smile. She laughed back, wrapping her arms around my neck. "You remember that?"

"Yeah, I do."

"You have no idea how much I loved you then, because I did, and I still do and always will."

"You're such a fucking romantic now." she laughed, caressing my cheek in her hand again.

"Maybe I always have been and you just never paid attention..."

She burst out laughing, kissing me full on the mouth. I kissed her back, lifting my hand to cradle the back of her head. I slowly leaned back on the bed, bringing her with me. My hands moved down to gently hold her small hips, perfectly fitting in my hands. I rolled us until she was under me, her mouth still on mine. She wrapped her arms under mine and around to the small of my back. I moved my hands down her body I was able to touch her just right, hearing her sudden intake of breath.

"Dex, oooh fuck." she moaned against my lips. Her moans grew louder with every right touch on my hand on her. Her mouth was back on mine, tongue playing with mine, and I lowered my body down to hers.

"I love you, Deb. you get that now right?"

"Yeah, I got it. I love you too, baby." she replied, flipping us, setting herself on top. "I'm hungry as hell, so you can make breakfast right? Please and thank you."

She smirked, jumping up off the bed, throwing my red t-shirt over her body. She looked so damn irresistible in red. I jumped up after her, throwing my discarded boxers on quickly, then I ran after her.

"How do you ask politely?" I yelled, laughing, as I picked her up off the ground, running her back over to the bed.

"Dex, you fucker!" she screamed, smile across her face, punching me in stomach. I grabbed at her long, lean legs, wrapping them around my waist. She covered my mouth with hers in a passionate, lingering kiss, cradling my cheek. "Polite enough for you?"

"Yes...only, because I love you." I smiled, holding her strong thighs in my hands. She smiled back, as I picked her up, walking us into the kitchen.

"I know you do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will take some time, since I'm trying to figure out where to go from here, so give me time, and bare with me:) Thank you everyone reading and reviewing! I truly appreciate it!


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